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Weddings
I just got back from a wedding last night. It was at a really nice place, open bar - the whole works. The ceremony was, as always, a real tear jerker. (Not sure if because the ceremony is so nice or because the groom doesn't know what he is getting in to.)
The dinner was great - but what followed was hard to take. The music was so incredibly loud that my ears are still hurting. There was only 1 slow song, the rest were rap and songs with no melody (with language to match). We had to leave early along with some other couples.
I am only 52 but am obviously out of step with the new generation. When my daughter gets married (hopefully not too soon) I hope its not like this.
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Bobkro, you make valid points. I have some restrictions, though - my wallet will be open but with limits. I think $10K is my limit. Some of these weddings are up at $30K+. I have seen some of the best weddings on more limited budgets. I will do my best to enjoy the new generation of "music". 
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Billy and Ducati, I agree wholeheartedly. When I married I had 13 immediate family members at a church - then we went to dinner. My father-in-law bought us a bedroom set which we greatly appreciate. I am prepping my daughter now about alternatives to expensive weddings. She can have a wedding party (within limits) or take the money.
I am a hard-ass when it comes to money with my kids. They have what they need but I don't want them to think I am a bottomless pit and that they don't need to support themselves. When my daughter went to college she didn't save enough money. So I sent her $20/week for the first semester. She hasn't stopped working since then.
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Hi Brokenarrow - yep, NY state college is about $14K total cost a year now and costs go up every year. I give my kids $5K per year - let them take maximum federal loans (in their name) and make them work to get the rest. I also told them they were going to state college unless they got financial aid or scholarships to offset it. My daughter got in Penn State (out-of-state cost for us would have been $20K per year) but I told her she didn't save enough money - so forget it.
My daughter will be graduating with a degree in civil engineering from Buffalo this spring. My son is leaving for college this fall and he is also going to Buffalo. I went to NY state college and went on for more degrees afterwards. (It was only $2K a year back in 1970.) So I think state colleges are just fine.
My daughter wanted a car at college - complained endlessly for the first 2 years. We finally caved in and got her a used Subaru Forrester (She is at Buffalo). She owes us for the money and we made her get her own insurance policy - because these kids all share cars, etc. Well she just got a speeding ticket for 81 mph in a 55 zone and its on her own policy! I didn't have to get angry - she will slow down a bit now I suspect.
You are right. We need money for retirement. If you give your kids too much money for college they end up spending it at restaurants and taking trips to the carribean. Kids today think it is the parents responsibility to give them a great time before they start working. I don't normally watch Dr Phil on TV but I heard him say the other day that, as a parent, it is not your job to be your kid's best friend. Instead it is your job to make sure they have a sense of responsibility and enough pride to earn their own keep.
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Chonestguy, thanks to my wife my 17 year old son doesn't have subwoofers in his car. He does listen to rap in his car but I don't have to listen to the "thump thump" when he comes into the neighborhood. I am the weak one when it comes to telling kids they can't have what they want - at least when they have worked for the money. He wanted the sub woofers badly, I was ready to cave in - but my wife got in his face and that was the end of that. I must admit that she has been right at least 50 percent of the time.
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Chonestguy, I admire your conviction. It is very tough raising kids nowadays. 50% of the parents let their kids do whatever they want and their kids ask your kids why your kids can't always do what they want. Then your kids go to their teachers to get their view of the world and what they think kids should be allowed to do. Parents are no longer supposed to be in control. You have to be very tough and stick to your guns. It is a very long haul.
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Iowafun, your wife having control over your life when you are incapacitated can be a good thing or a bad thing. My wife scares me when she talks about life not worth living when you're bed ridden. Since she has a Smith and Wesson I had better make sure she gets the right bullets that will take me out real quick!!
Murf, your wedding plans sound great! My wife is hinting that she wants to renew vows on our 25th - about 1 year from now. I am not the sentimental type and don't like the idea of this - but maybe we will go back to St Croix where we went for our honeymoon and do it there. I like the idea of warm weather to ease the pain. I just don't like to fly.
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